


The Art of Becoming Stridersexual

by swagmaster7000



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-01-04 14:37:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swagmaster7000/pseuds/swagmaster7000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is NOT a homosexual.  Duh!!!  Dave is simply his best bro, that's all there is to it.  But when bro-cuddles start to become more like boyfriend-cuddles, John begins to question if his feelings towards Dave really are strictly platonic.<br/>Dave is a homosexual.  Not only that, but he's in love with his best bro, John.  He has been since second grade.  Of course, his love will forever remain unrequited, as John is pretty much as straight as you get.  At least that's what he thinks, until suddenly John's constant "no homo!"s seem to turn into lies.<br/>"The Art of Becoming Stridersexual" is a humanstuck-highschoolstuck AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! This is my first (published) fanfiction, so you'll have to excuse the level of cruddiness that it may or may not entail. It takes place in an AU humanstuck-highschoolstuck setting, in which Sburb is nonexistent. Of course, it's primarily JohnDave and is written in the second person like Homestuck, as if the reader is either John or Dave. There will be very little smut, at least I'm thinking. My plan right now is to keep this very fluffy and not go into much detail on the smuttier aspects. So, if you're looking for something more NSFW this fanfic is probably not for you.  
> As withmany other works, I'd love love love if you could comment and tell me what you think! I want to improve the story for other readers, along with my writing skills in general.  
> Homestuck, along with all it's characters, belongs to Andrew Hussie.  
> Now that formalities are out of the way, continue on, my dear reader, and jump into the life of a budding Stridersexual.

Your name is John Egbert and if given a gun, you are 99% sure that you would shoot yourself right now.

You are sitting in Algebra 2, right behind your best bro Dave Strider. This is fun, because whenever your teacher has his back turned you poke Dave in the back of his head and watch him stiffen, too cool to turn around and risk looking as if it bothers him. However, 80% of the time Mr. Wilson's back is not turned, and you are listening to him drone on and on about the laws of exponents. While you don't understand a word of what he's saying, you do understand that there are far too many of these laws and none will ever be useful to you. With this logic, you focus your attention on your doodle of the cake for your future wedding with Liv Tyler, with the occaisonal poke to the back of Dave's head, interupted every now and then by a blow on the back on his neck.

After what feels like 5 hours of this, the bell finally rings, not a moment too soon. At least, that's what you think until Dave gets out of his chair and turns his attention to you. Even though his eyes are concealed by his shades, you can sense his death stare. 

At a height of 5' 11", Dave's a solid 4 inches taller than you. His lanky beanpole figure appears to be scrawny, but you know that he can pin you down for hours. 3 hours and 17 minutes, to be exact. His hair is the lightest shade of blonde you've ever seen on anybody other than a baby. Of course he's never dyed it. He's too cool for that. His hair is just naturally that blonde.

His most prominent feature is hardly even noticed by you anymore, however. Atop his lightly freckled nose sits a pair of reflective aviator shades (the same pair worn by Ben Stiller!), your gift to him on his 13th birthday. Dave's shades are a part of who he is, as natural as a pinky finger or an eyebrow. They are really what makes Dave Dave. He's worn shades since kindergarten, and according to him, even before that. Save for his twin sister, Rose, nobody has ever seen Dave's real eyes. That's just the way it is.

Dave's low, relaxed voice brings you back to your senses. His usually even tone turns into a hiss in your ear. 

"I'm going to fucking kill you Egbert."

You laugh. Dave's not really upset, you know this. You grin up at Dave. "You'd miss me too much."

"The only thing I'd miss is taking your food." Dave grins right back at you. You know that he'd really miss you, if you did go.

On that note, the two of you walk out of the classroom together and down the hall to your lockers, just like every other day. Dave's locker is across the hall from yours, which is insanely convienient for both of you. Last year you were in completely seperate buildings, and man, was that a hassle.

Walking down the hall the two of you discuss the Algebra lesson, just like every other day. Dave is a lot smarter than he cares to admit, and could be taking trig this year if he wanted to. But he didn't. Which is good, because most of the time you need someone else to explain the material to you.

Books stashed away and lockers locked, the two of you proceed to the best period of them day: lunch. Right after you walk into your school's low-budget cafe-gym-atorium the two of you head straight for the lunch line to avoid what will soon become a group of harsh elbows and clumsy feet. 

"Man, is that even edible?" Dave asks you as you grab your trays. Today's poison is a slab of meat on a bun, just barely passing for a hamburger, and some fries that you know will taste like soggy cardboard. 

"We'll have to find out." You watch as the lunch lady gives you your "food", and grab an apple. The apples are usually alright. So is the orange juice, you think, so you grab a carton of that. 

"Three dollars is way too much for fried shit," Dave murmurs to you as you pay for your food. You can't help but snort, earning yourself a look from the cashier. 

You step away and wait for Dave to pay. "You're paying it," you say as the two of you head to your table.

Dave scoffs at you. "I still don't know why you pay for this. Your dad's food's fucking orgasmic. But still, you cough up fifteen dollars a week for overpriced trash."

You don't exactly know how to answer that without admitting to Dave that you're too proud to tell your dad that you need his help, even in this minuscule way. You offer him a vague, "whatever," and sit down next to him at the table. 

Rose, Kanaya, Vriska, and Jade are already seated at your circular table when you arrive. Predictably, Rose and Kanaya are practically sitting on top of each other, they're so close. Those two starting dating the summer before sophomore year, and they've been together ever since. Jade's wolfing down the hamburger and fries. For some reason nobody will understand, she truly likes the cafeteria food. Vriska's sitting in her usual seat next to yours, idly chatting with Jade about your school's basketball standings this year (surprisingly good). 

As soon as you sit down next to Vriska, Dave on your other side, her head snaps over and her eyes seem to light up behind her glasses. Her square frames are similar to yours, but the left lens is darkened, because she's blind in that eye.

You and Vriska had a small eighth-grade romance, one that shouldn't have meant anything three years later. Vriska seems to think differently. As Dave puts it, "She's like a spider, trying to lure you into her web of love." Whatever. Vriska's cool. 

Vriska's harsh drawl snaps you back to your senses. "Hiiiiiiii John!" You quickly regain your composure and smile at Vriska. "Hey! How's it going?"

"Borrrrrrrring. We've been stuck on Egypt for weeks in ancient civ." She rolls her eye. "How're you?"

"I'm great!" You're not lying when you say that. You really are great. 

Just then, Karkat and Gamzee sit down across from you. Karkat and Gamzee are almost as close as you and Dave. Almost. Their broship is actually pretty weird. It's more like they... complete each other? Kinda like they're dating, but platonically? You dismiss this unimportant thought and smile at Karkat. "Hey Karkat!" Your smile falters a bit when you look at Gamzee. You tolerate him, since he's one of your friends, but he's definitely not your favorite person. "Hey Gamzee."

Dave smirks at Karkat. "Hey Kitkat." He nods at Gamzee. "Gam."

Karkat scowls at Dave and forces a smile at you. "Hello John." He puts emphasis on your name, almost as if it's an insult.

The rest of the table greets them, and Gamzee returns the gesture. Karkat harshly acknowledges them, which is normal. He's usually in a mood. 

Jade starts asking Karkat for his fries, which reminds you that you're hungry. And this "lunch" of yours just isn't working. You slide your hand across the table and grab some snickerdoodles from Rose. She glances at you, but quickly returns to her discussion with Kanaya with only a small nod of consent in your direction. You grin and take the cookies, handing one to Dave. 

"So, Egbert," Dave turns in his chair to face you. "Going to Peixes's tonight?" 

That's right!! January 20th, Eridan's birthday. His sister, Feferi, is throwing him a surprise party. It's not like he isn't expecting it. Conceited assfish thinks he's all that. Well, he is pretty cool when he's not hitting on you.

"Can you pick me up?"

"Not if you're gonna ask like that."

You pretend to fall onto Dave's shoulder. "Oh, Mr. Strider, would you do me the honor of escorting me to Eridan's prestigious birthday party tonight?"

Dave pushes you off of him and stands up with a grin. "It's a date." With that, he goes to throw away his untouched food. 

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

A/N: I'll be the first to admit that Vriska's intro sucked, as did /a lot/ of the dialogue. I'd really really appreciate some feedback, so I know what you think, and some ideas for what's to come! Maybe some pairings that you want to see, cameo appearances from OCs, whatever! I'd love sugestions! Thanks for reading this far!  
~M


	2. Chapter 2

You are now Dave Strider.

You are in your room, jamming out to some totally righteous jams while you try to find something to wear tonight. You've been doing this for 37 minutes.

37 goddamn minutes to find a shirt. You shudder internally. When you phrase it like that it makes you sound a lot gayer than you are. On second thought, maybe you really ARE that gay. After all, you really have been looking for a shirt for 37- no, scratch that- 39 minutes. You groan and flop down on your bed. Maybe you should just go shirtless. The birthday boy would love that, wouldn't he? You laugh to yourself at your joke.

You suddenly remember that you have more important things to do than crack awesome jokes that nobody will ever get to appreciate. You stand up and walk over to a mirror that hangs on your wall, cracked from some long-forgotten Strider strife.

Staring back at you is a tall, lean blonde. You look almost as if you've been put through a taffy puller, like that kid from Willy Wonka. Well, except for your muscles, which remain toned and well-built.

Your music falters for a moment to be replaced by a shrill "ping." You turn to your desk and see that someone's begun pestering you.

\--ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:51 PM--  
EB: daaavvvveeeee  
EB: when are you coming???

John's messages remind you that you were trying to look good for a reason. You two are going to the party together. Not TOGETHER together though. Sure, you said, "it's a date," but really, it's totally not a date.

But at the same time, you never know. It's a party that you're going to. An admittedly small party, but a party nonetheless. There's gonna be beer of course, and a little alcohol might loosen Egbert up a bit. Maybe just enough for you to own up to him about your feelings towards him, see how he reacts, and have John forget about it later.

No, that's stupid. You're not gonna drop a bomb like, "Hey, I know we've been best friends for 12 years and you only like girls but I'm totally gay for you and I think about kissing you a lot" while he's drunk. You may be a douchebag, but that's just a goddamn cowardly move.

You glance at your laptop. The clock reads 7:04.

You glare at your reflection with blood-red eyes for almost a minute, a stupid decision, really. You only get more upset and end up punching the wall next to the mirror.

You breathe heavily for a few moments, then relax. Ok. It's just some stupid party with your stupid friends that you've known for years. Nobody gives a rat's ass what you wear, especially not John.

You walk to your laptop, stop your music, and open Pesterchum.

TG: on my way  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 19:07--

You grab the closest shirt that you can find (a plain black v-neck) and throw it on. You glance in the mirror, and your reflection offers a slight nod of approval. It'll do.

You grab your red sweatshirt from your bed, the one with a red gear-like symbol on it. You're not exactly sure what it is, but it's pretty cool.

You grab your shades from where they rest on your turntable and throw them on before giving yourself a solid once-over in your mirror. Shades, sweatshirt, jeans, converse. Perfect.

You walk out of your room and shut the door. Wouldn't want bro peeking at your stuff. You know from experience he'd give you loads of shit for anything and everything even remotely close to uncool.

And there's the puppet pornmaster himself, lounging on the couch, laptop on his stomach. Looking at what, you're not sure, nor do you want to know.

"Where you off to now, Davey?" Your bro seems to sense you presence and turns around with one eyebrow raised.

"Out."

You'd think someone stuck a red hot cattle prod up his asshole by the way your bro discards his laptop and jumps to run in front of the door. Despite the scramble, he leans against it with effortless nonchalance, ever the poster child for coolness. "Out where?"

You sigh. You can't complain about your bro that much. True, he has some weird interests, but he taught you everything you know about irony. You guess that telling him what you're up to is the least you can do. "A party. It's my friend's birthday."

You try to shove bro out of the way, but he doesn't budge. "Why the rush?"

"John's waiting. I'm picking him up. " You pray to whatever god there might be that bro won't make you talk about it. He knows that you like John, but by some miracle doesn't tease you too much about it.

Bro ruffles your hair and steps away from the door. "That's my boy." He grins and walks back to the couch. You open the door with a huff, ready to make your escape, when you're stopped once again by your brother's voice.

"I'm going to Jake's tonight, so the place is all your's. Make me proud lil' man."

You ignore his remark and walk into the hall of your building, all but slamming the door behind you. You really wish that your brother would stop hinting at you getting laid. You know that's what he really wants. Some parents want their kids to get into a good college, or make honor roll, or become captain of a sports team. Yours? All he wants is for you to score a Strider-worthy boyfriend.

You do have a bit of a legacy to fulfill, after all. Bro has an insanely hot boyfriend, and he wants you to have the same. Cause that's what Striders do. They make everyone within a 5 mile radius swoon with a tip of their shades, right?

So why can't you seem to do that with John?

You're so lost in thought that you almost walk right past Samantha.

Almost.

She's too beautiful to miss, though. Her sleek black exterior, the distinct air of coolness that seems to radiate from her, collected from generations of worthy owners, the leather seats that seem to exude a gleam from behind her closed doors.

Sam is your car. But she's not just any car. She's a black '67 Chevy Impala, the most perfect car that you've ever encountered.

You reminisce about your first meeting as you drive to John's house. You can still remember it, the day you first met. You were hanging out with Karkat and Equius at the garage where Equius works one Thursday afternoon, when Equius lifted a protective cover off of what would become the love of your life.

Back then, she was barely a frame of a car. One door had fallen off and was thrown into the ripped back seat. There was too many dents and scratches to count. And the engine? History. They were going to get rid of her, Equius said. She was so far gone that they would make more money selling all of her salvageable parts than they would fixing her and reselling her.

That broke your heart. She was beautiful, you knew it. A little banged up, but she had so much potential. You talked it out with Equius, and it was decided that he'd give you a great price for her and help you fix her up, as long as you took all of the car knowledge that he'd teach you to help him out at the garage.

The rest was history. Almost every day for 3 weeks you worked on Sam. You learned everything that you never needed to know about suspension systems, transmission hydraulics, and fuel ignition.

But all your hard work payed off. This is what you wanted, the soft purr of the engine, the steady roll of the tires, the way that she seems to float on air. It makes you want to drive around forever.

Driving around forever seems like an idea better suited for another day, though. Tonight, you party.

You slide to a stop in front of John's respectable, good-side-of-town, 3-bedroom-2-bath house. The blue cookie cutter house is always a nice change of scenery from your run down apartment, with it's clean hedges, the porch with a white railing, lace-curtained windows, the exact picture of 21st century suburbia. It's amazing, you think, how one town can contain two totally separate worlds.

You lean over to glance in the rearview mirror. Why? You're not exactly sure. It's not like your mascara smudged or anything. You sigh and run a hand through your hair. Why are you so stressed about this fucking party?

You lean back against your seat and lightly press Sam's horn. You don't have to wait long before John bursts out of his front door, 100% smile. He practically sprints down the concrete walkway to your car.

John once again demonstrates that caution and excitement don't generally walk hand in hand as he nearly rips Sam's passenger door off its hinges and hops in, letting in a burst of cold air. The car abuse continues as he slams the door shut behind him.

"Jesus, Egbert, why don't you just pull the door off?"

John ignores you and rubs his hands together in an attempt to warm them. "Have you been outside? It's freezing, dude!"

You glance at John as you shift the car to drive. A double take shows that John, ever the dumbass, considered his "What Would Cage Do?" shirt with The Cage himself photoshopped onto the body of Jesus appropriate attire for mid-January. The shirt was a birthday gift from you, supposed to be worn ironically. Of course, John wears it almost once a week, completely unironically, even in 30 degree weather.

You sigh and pull to the side of the road. "Of course it is for you, dumbass. You're practically naked." You slide off your sweatshirt and drop it into John's lap, then start driving again. "Go nuts."

John eagerly wiggles into your sweatshirt and grins. He probably wears your sweatshirts more than you do at this point. You don't mind, though. He always looks cute in them.

"Thanks." John speaks with a bit of smugness, as if this was exactly what he was expecting.

You grunt at him and turn on on whatever mix tape's in your stereo at the moment. One of the downsides of Sammy is that she only takes cassettes, but it's been ok. Making the tapes isn't that hard, but the equipment was a bitch to find. You turn up whatever Blink-182 song's playing.

John reaches over and turns the music off. "You haven't even said hi to me yet!" he says. You can sense the overly exaggerated pout in his voice.

"I think we're past formalities,'' you retort while you turn the music back on.

John stabs the stereo with his finger to turn it off, rousing a muttered curse word from you in Sam's defense. "Well, I'd like to hear you greet me. Is that such a crime?"

You shake your head at the road in exasperation, interlaced with some amusement. "Hey, John. Great to see you again. It's been 5 whole hours since I last saw you! I thought I was gonna die of loneliness. So glad to see you again. How've you been?"

John retorts with some sarcasm of his own. "Terrible without you, of course."

"I'd expect nothing less." You arrive at a red light, where you slide to a stop and turn your music back on, turning to John and raising an eyebrow as if challenging him to turn it back off.

He doesn't. Instead, he leans back against his seat, satisfied that he got his greeting. Content, you turn the volume up.

The rest of the ride is spent with John staring absentmindedly outside of the passenger window while you nod your head and drum your fingers against Sam's smooth, leather, wheel. The silence isn't awkward. Nothing's ever awkward between you two. It's comfortable, familiar.

After about 6 minutes and two kickass 90's punk songs, you arrive at Eridan's house. You glide to a smooth stop across the street from the Peixes' 3 story lake house. The Peixes are practically swimming in money, being the owners of Betty Crocker Corp, and this lake house is one of many homes. They have real estate in every place you could ever want to vacation to, but this is where the kids stay for school.

You take your keys out of Sam and twirl them around your finger once before turning to John. "Ready?"

John nods and gets out of the car. You follow, locking the doors on your way out. As soon as you get out, the cold hits you full-frontal. You should've kept your sweatshirt, you think. Despite the cold, you keep your cool as you follow John across the street and to the door of the house. Before John can even reach for the doorknob, Feferi swings the door open with a grin. "Hi guys!!!"

She's smiling from ear to ear, dressed in a blue hi-lo skirt and black tank top with a pink symbol that looks like an H. She's actually really pretty, you think, with her slim nose and aqua eyes. If you weren't so hopelessly in love with your best friend you'd probably ask her out.

John smiles back at Feferi just as wide, and greets her with an enthusiastic "hi!!" You offer a jerk of your chin and a smooth "hey."

Feferi steps back and makes a sweeping gesture with her arm, like a butler would. "Come on in!"

You step inside after John, and the two of you follow Feferi down a hall, her happily chattering the whole time. "Everyone's in the den right now. You guys are pretty much the last to come!" John glares at you here. "We're not doing much now, how could we without our resident cool kid?" She looks back at you and giggles.

"Don't worry, I have arrived," John says with a small bow. You roll your eyes behind your shades. Dork.

"John and Dave are here!" Feferi announces as you walk after her into the Peixes' den.

The seafoam green room never fails to make you feels as if you've walked straight into Finding Nemo. From the wall sized fish tank, to the starfish prints on the walls, it feels like you dove under the sea instead of walked through a doorway.

Everyone greets you differently. Equius offers a slight nod, accompanied by a "Hello." Tavros smiles and mumbles "Hi." Vriska smiles a grin that verges on creepy at John. Karkat simply grunts.

John beams. "Hey guys!" he says, then turns to Eridan, who's sitting crosslegged in a sand colored armchair, and says, "Happy birthday!" with far too much gusto.

"Relax, guys," you say as you walk into the center of the room and spread your arms wide, as if presenting yourself. "The party has officially arrived." Nepeta claps enthusiastically from where she lays on the couch with her legs in Equius's lap. You nod your thanks to her and walk over to Eridan. "Happy birthday, dude," you say as you ruffle his hair. He swats your hand away, but says, "Thanks."

You plop down on the couch in between Karkat and Terezi. "So, what's going on?"

"Nothing, yet. We were waiting for you, cool kid," Terezi says.

John sits on the ground in front of you and turns to talk to Terezi. "Terezi, please. You flatter me."

She nudges John with her toe and scowls. "I may be blind, John, but I can see cool when it's sitting in front of me. And you are definitely not it."

Oh yeah, blind. You always forget about that. Terezi's legally blind, but she can still see. With her super intense red framed wayfarer glasses. You tried wearing them once while you two were dating but got dizzy after 2 minutes.

Yep, dating. You and Terezi dated for a whopping eight months. You actually legitimately liked her, you just liked John more. When you told her, she was incredibly pissed at first. Who wouldn't be? You'd spent the majority of your relationship wishing that she was John. Even when you'd have sex you'd spend more time wishing that she were John than you should've. Were you a total douche? Yep. But Terezi forgave you anyway, after you told her the entire truth.

You laugh at her jab at John. She really is a lot of fun. Maybe in another life, you think.

John's just starting to stick his tongue out when Feferi walks to the front of the room and claps her hands. "Okay, guys!" she says enthusiastically, "I suppose you're all wondering why I've asked you to come here today!"

John raises his hand halfway. "Aren't we here for Eridan's birthday?"

Feferi rolls her eyes exaggeratedly at John. "Duh! I mean the other reason!"

Nepeta knits her eyebrows together. "There's another reason?"

"Yup!" Feferi nods her head with excitement. "Get ready for a fun-flled, magictastic, 20 hour long, Harry Potter movie marathon!"

This warrants various reactions from everyone in the room. Rose squeezes Kanaya's hand with excitement. Vriska makes a disgusted face. Jade claps her hands together gleefully. You? You simply settle back into the couch and turn to Karkat. "Excited yet, Karkles?"

He scowls at you. "Ecstatic."

Feferi ignores all negative reactions, her smile only getting wider. "Aradia, Gamzee, the snacks, please!" 

Aradia and Gamzee come into the room, arms laden with all sorts of food. Aradia carries bags of popcorn, chips, pretzels, and chex mix on top of two boxes of pizza. Gamzee has at least 7 bottles of Faygo in each arm, which he drops in the middle of the floor with a grin. "Let's motherfuckin' do this!"

Aradia giggles and sets down her cargo next to the Faygo pile as Feferi begins to turn on the T.V. "I suppose you all know how this will work," Feferi says. "We'll start with the first one, then move to the second one, then the third, and so on and so on. Aradia's in charge of snacks, I'm making baked goods, and Gamzee's on Faygo." No surprise there, you think. Gamzee's practically the king of flavored corn syrup. Rightfully so, too. You'll rarely ever find him without a bottle of the stuff, most likely spiked.

Terezi gets up to grab your couch some soda and food. As she does so, you mentally prepare yourself for a full 20 hours of wizardy weirdness. By the time Feferi presses play on the movie and snaps you back to planet Earth, you're ready. "Let's do this," you think, "let's get our Potter on."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I'm sorry that this took me a million years to finish. I'm gonna try to get the next chapter up a lot sooner. I had a major writer's block for awhile back there, but now I know where I want to go with this, I just have to get there. Thanks so much for being patient and reading this far! As always, please comment your opinions and suggestions so that I can make this better for you and other readers. Until next time!
> 
> ~M


	3. Chapter 3

You are now John Egbert.

You've been at the Piexes' house- well, mansion- for over 6 hours. And you're not even halfway through the fifth Harry Potter movie yet.

Your friends are all around you in various stages of awareness and comfort. Karkat retreated to lie by himself on the floor awhile ago, though he was soon joined by Nepeta, who's now lying next to him contentedly. Eridan went to sit next to Aradia in front of the chair he had previously resided in, though his mind remained in Hogwarts, surprisingly oblivious to Aradia's sleeping head on his shoulder. Kanaya and Rose had barely moved, utterly enthralled in the movie, though both had seen it at least 20 times.

You? You're lying down on the couch that had previously seated Terezi, Dave, and Karkat. The only remaining people on the couch are you, Dave, and Vriska. Your head rests on Dave's leg, and your legs are curled up so that Vriska can sit on the other end of the couch.

Dave is trying to look disinterested, but you know him well enough to see through his seemingly relaxed facade. It's obvious (to you, at least) that he's loving the movie. Dave's always trying to hide his nerdy side in order to play the role of cool guy extraordinaire, but every so often the two of you will engage in heated Star Wars vs. Star Trek debates. Which you always win with Star Trek, of course.

Despite most of your friends being glued to the T.V. screen, you couldn't care less about The Kid with the Hideous Glasses and His Ginger Friends. Your eyelids are falling more and more every second. You probably have 5 minutes, tops, before you're out cold. Until then, you can watch these wizard asshats muck around.

You arrange yourself slightly so that you're as comfortable as you can get and close your eyes. You don't even have enough time to contemplate your day before you drift off into a dream-filled rest.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

You're awakened by a cold hand repeatedly smacking your cheek. "Egbert." a low voice says. "It's time to wake up."

You grumble something that you hope sounds like, "go away, Dave," and roll over.

Your message must have gotten across, because the smacking hand moves to your shoulders to shake you back and forth. "You have to wake up if you want pancakes."

At the mention of pancakes, your eyes snap open. "Pancakes?"

Dave looks down at you, a bemused smile playing across his lips. "Yup. Come and get 'em."

You sit up with a new hunger-induced determination. A quick scan of the room reveals that everybody else has already awoken and sought out their breakfast, though traces that they'd been there were everywhere.

Dave stands and begins walking towards the kitchen, immediately followed by you. He talks to you over his shoulder.

"I though I'd have to amputate my leg to get away from you, man, you were sleeping so hard." He scans you up an down. "It's no wonder, since you weren't as fucking freezing as me."

You look down and realize that you're still in Dave's sweatshirt. It's a good thing, too, since you're cold even with it on. Without it, you'd have frozen to death.

You pull the sweatshirt tighter and grin at Dave. It's too early for you to come up with a decent comeback. Instead, you use the thought of a nice stack of pancakes and sausage to keep from falling back asleep in the hallway.

This plan works well until you arrive in the kitchen. You look around the room and see all of your friends, but no pancakes. No sausage, either. Only a couple boxes of Pop-Tarts that are already mostly empty.

Dave seems to have forgotten that he just pulled the douchiest douche move of douche history and has already grabbed a cherry Pop-Tart and plopped down next to Jade on the floor. You grab the Pop-Tart out of his hands before he even gets to take a bite- a small, but comforting, triumph- and sit next to him.

The rest of the room hasn't noticed this exchange, as they all seem to be half asleep. With a few exceptions, of course. It seems like Aradia and Feferi were the ones that woke everybody up, as they are both buzzing around the room energetically. Kanaya, Tavros, and Rose seem to be deep in discussion. Knowing them, they're probably still discussing Harry Potter. One look at Vriska, Karkat, Gamzee, and Terezi tells you that you'd sooner watch those godawful movies 60 more times before you tried to talk to them. Dave and Jade are talking about Doctor Who- then again, when aren't they? You just want to go back to sleep.

Just as you're taking the first bite of your Pop-Tart, Nepeta seems to appear out of thin air in front of you. "Hi John!" she chirps with more enthusiasm than should be possible before noon. "Did you like the movies?" She smiles at you with such a charming little grin that you just can't bring yourself to tell her just how torturous the past 20 hours have been.

Instead, you attempt to smile back. "Yeah, they were pretty good! Could've used a few explosions, though." 

Dave stops his conversation to give you a disbelieving look. It's hard to fool your best friend. Luckily, Nepeta doesn't realize this. "How about you, Dave? Have fun?"

"Oh yeah. Being used as a mattress while nearly freezing to death is definitely my idea of a good time." Dave's smirk assures you that he's only kidding.

"I, for one, loved the movies!" Jade says, also overly chipper.

Once again, Dave catches his friend in a lie. "You were asleep the entire time you liar."

Jade sticks her tounge out at Dave playfully and gets up to go find someone else to talk to. Having finished your measly breakfast, you can't resist leaning your head on Dave's shoulder and closing your eyes. The way that Dave wraps an arm around you says that Nepeta must have gone somewhere else, too.

An outsider would probably assume that you and Dave were dating if they were to walk into the room then. But your friends know better. This kind of thing is normal for the two of you. It has been since second grade, when Bro Cuddles first began, after a particularly brutal pack of 7 year olds had insulted your (admittedly large) teeth for five whole minutes on the bus ride home from school.

Back then, you and Dave were already best friends, but there was still a sort of invisible wall around him that prevented you from getting too close. The other kids knew even less about him, though. As a matter of fact, you and his twin sister, Rose, were the only people who weren't completely scared of him. That's why all Dave needed to do was hurl a few icy inults towards your tormentors to make them shut up, fast.

Dave, who was sitting next to you, looked in your eyes and asked if you were okay. You thought you had been, but suddenly you weren't. Looking back on that day, you think it was the realization that somebody cared about you that threw you over the edge. Because before you knew it, your eyes were welling with tears.

Luckily, the bus had just slid to a stop. Dave got up and gestured for you to follow him. You did, all the way out of the bus and back to his apartment. That walk was when you became best bros for life. As he held your hand and bashed the other kids with you, you felt, for the first time, like you weren't alone.

Yeah, you know it sounds gay. But it's not. Dave and you are a little closer than most straight guys, but that's all you are- two straight guys. You've never done anything too gay... well, except for that one time... but that was nothing. You're just bros who happen to cuddle sometimes. It's not a big deal.  
You hadn't realized that you were falling asleep until Dave is shaking you back to reality. "I swear, your dad doesn't pay me enough for this," he mutters. You start to respond, but are immediately interrupted by Vriska flouncing over to talk to you. A little disappointed that you didn't get to talk to Dave more, you dive into conversation with Vriska. But your mind remains on that walk with Dave, the one that started it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally cannot apologize enough for taking so long to get this chapter done. I have no good excuses, either. Anyways, it's here now! 
> 
> It's not great, I know. I guess I'm going with an alive Aradia, because I'm the author and can do what I want. Jade and Dave talking about Doctor Who mayyy have been pushing it, but since Jade's aspect is space and Dave's is time I figured that they would both enjoy Doctor Who. I've seen a lot of AUs when Dave's the Doctor and Jade's his companion, actually (I've even roleplayed in a few).
> 
> But really, I cannot stress enough how much I need your feedback! I want this to be good (that's why I spent so much time working on only 1,500 words) and can't do that without your help! DON'T HOLD BACK FOR MY SAKE! At least try to keep my head in the game so that I'll get the next chapter done sooner! And give me suggestions!!!
> 
> Thanks so much for sticking with me loves! I hope to see you in the comments section!
> 
> ~M


	4. Chapter 4

You are now Dave Strider.

You are wondering what kind of excuse can get you out of gym for the fourth day in a row when your friend, Jade, pops up out of nowhere with a chirpy "Hi Dave!"

You're so started that you nearly flinch, but luckily, you contain yourself. Instead, you push the last of your books into your locker and turn around to face Jade's emerald green eyes. "Hey Harley."

Jade grins at you. How she manages this much energy at 10 o' clock in the morning is beyond you. You can barely manage standing up.

"Hey, do you have a knife I can borrow? I'm thinking that a severed leg should be enough to get me out of gym."

Jade laughs. "You haven't done gym since last Wednesday, Dave. Mr. Romansky may be dumb, but even he'll be able to tell what's going on soon."

You sigh. Jade's right. Looks like it's gym for you. You turn around and close your locker, then turn back to Jade.

"You ready?" she asks, already starting to walk towards the gym for your next class.

"I'll be there in a sec," you reply, with a slight head nod toward John, who's at his own locker across the hall.

"Alright, see you there!" Jade waves and walks away.

You cross the hallway in a few paces and lean against the locker next to John's, your lips already beginning to turn up in a smile. John's morning attitude is very different from his half-sister's. His eyelids are drooping, and it's obvious he spent first period sleeping. He looks as if he just threw on pants and came to school, as his shirt is wrinkled and his hair sticking up in all directions.

He still hasn't noticed your presence, so you decide it may be fun to give him a bit of a scare. You lean close to his ear and whisper, "John."

He jumps and drops the stack of books that he was holding before turning to glare at you. "Jesus Christ, Dave," he all but growls before beginning to pick up his books. "Ever heard of personal space?"

You raise your eyebrows in disbelief. John cling-on-you-whenever-he-gets-the-chance Egbert, complaining about his lack of personal space. "You're one to talk, bro," you reply with a grin.

He mutters something that sounds kind of like a "whatever" and slams his locker shut, then starts walking down the hall. You follow him. "You doing gym today?" he asks.

You sigh. "There's no way out of it."

He stops walking and smiles at you mischievously with a sudden change of attitude. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"If you think I'm saying something about going to iHop, then yes, I am."

You return John's smile. "Well then, what are we waiting for?"

"Absolutely nothing." And with that, you both turn around and walk out into the student parking lot.

iHop excursions with John have been a thing since sophmore year. Whenever one of you needs a break from school, for one reason or another, you go to iHop. It's only four blocks away from school, and their caramel hot chocolate is unbeatable anywhere else. 

"Can we drive?" John asks. Neither of you is exactly dressed for this 20 degree weather, so you nod and pull out your keys. 

On the drive there, John starts chattering about how Mrs. Ruiz, his chemistry teacher, has once again failed to explain something correctly. Today it's something about atomic structure. Not being able to listen to John's pointless babble anymore, you interject. "How about you come over to my place after school today, and I'll help you out?" You took chemistry last year, so it shouldn't be too hard for you to assist John. 

John beams. "Thanks, Dave!"

You smile as you pull into the iHop parking lot. "Anytime... but you're buying."

John doesn't object to this, which is good, because you only have ten dollars on you. You push open the car door and start walking towards the iHop entrance with John at your side.

The familiar interior of the restaurant is welcoming, as always. A hostess brings you to a booth at your request, and leaves you with two menus. Most of the tables are empty, save for a few elderly couples.

You and John don't even need to look at your menus to know what you're going to order. You'll get a caramel hot chocolate each and a stack of chocolate pancakes to share. Not having to decide on what to have gives you more time to talk about anything and everything. John gets the conversation rolling by asking why you don't want to do gym. 

You roll your eyes at him. "Are you kidding me? In case you haven't noticed, fighting for a ball with a bunch of sweaty guys isn't exactly my idea of fun."

John shrugs. "I guess you're right there. But I thought it had something to do with the fact that Russo keeps checking you out in the locker room."

Your surprise must show on your face, because John laughs. "You seriously haven't noticed? I think that every guy in our class is starting to suspect something's going on with him."

Tim Russo, gay? Well, he has been known to get a little touchy around you... and his hair. You slap the table with the sudden realization. "His hair, man! I should've known! No straight man has hair that perfect!"

John laughs again. "So, what're you thinking? You gonna take a ride on the Russo train?"

You shake your head at John. "I think you'd get too jealous."

John grins as the waitress comes to take your order. "You wish."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Later that day, you're sitting on your bed with John next to you, leaning against the wall. You spent an hour explaining atomic structure and are now beginning your second hour on radical functions, which, for some reason, John doesn't seem to get. You sigh after another failed problem. "Maybe you should just give up now, John. Cut your losses and start trading in the black market."

John glares at you. "It's not my fault I have a bad teacher!"

"If you speak that way to me again, Mr. Egbert, I'm going to give you a detention," you say, in your best imitation of your algebra teacher.

"As long as I don't have to do solve these problems anymore, I'm in." He flops down across your lap with a sigh. "Can we watch Star Wars now?"

"We're not watching anything until you get one of these problems right."

John groans. "Then we'll be here for years!"

"You've seen Star Wars a million times already, dude. Why do you need to see it again?"

John looks into your eyes with a deadly serious stare. "One can never watch Star Wars too many times, Dave."

You smile down at your friend. "You're a fucking dork, you know that, Egbert?"

"Yeah, I do." John smiles and sits up. "So, Star Wars?"

"First, algebra." You shake the algebra textbook at John.

John grabs the book from you and sits on it. "Star Wars."

"I am not letting you fail another quiz, John," you threaten with a grin before pushing John over onto his side and grabbing the book from under him. 

As you're opening back up to the practice problems you were working on, John recovers and grabs the book out of your lap. This time, he hugs it tightly to his chest and lays down on his stomach. "No," he mumbles into your bed. 

Well, if he wants to be that way... You roll John over and try to pry the book from his arms, but his grip is iron-clad. You move so that you're straddling John and tug at the book, and that's when it happens.

You look into John's laughing face, and you see it there, in his eyes, in his smile, in his cheekbones, in his scar on his left cheek. Utter perfection, staring up at you with a dorky, but incredibly adorable, grin. And before you know what you're doing, your lips are against his and it's like you and John are the only people in the world and you could stay there for an entire lifetime, kissing this perfect boy and his perfect lips.

And then as quickly as it left, reality comes crashing down on you and you realizing that you're kissing your best friend, your straight best friend, and when you pull away from John the face that looks up at you isn't laughing anymore, but instead looks just as shocked as you. 

And those perfect lips that you just kissed form three words: "What. The. Fuck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be updating a lot more frequently now that it's summer and I have absolutely nothing to do, so expect to hear from me more often!
> 
> You know what to do: Comment, vote, message me; any sort of feedback is what I need to make this story as good as it can be!
> 
> Thanks for sticking around!
> 
> ~M


	5. Chapter 5

You are now John Egbert. 

"What. The. Fuck."

The words escape from your mouth before you can stop them, but you hardly even notice. You're so lost in your thoughts that you stare right through the fumbling Dave sitting before you, who doesn't need to be so focused on avoiding your gaze, as you're not noticing any of your surroundings at the moment. 

So many thoughts are running through your head, you don't know which one to attend to first. The most prominent of them all is confusion, but for all the wrong reasons. You should be confused because your best friend just kissed you, but you're not, and that's exactly why you're confused. 

Dave's lips on your lips, his chest on your chest, it should've been weird, but for some reason, it wasn't. Actually, it felt very, very right, like you'd been expecting it all along. 

But even more confusing than that, you find yourself wanting to kiss him again. 

But that would mean... no, you couldn't be... but then again, why else would you want to kiss Dave?

And slowly, piece-by-piece, your thoughts come together and lead you to one, massive realization: you have fallen for Dave Strider. 

The sudden understanding hits you like a ton of bricks. Not because you're surprised, but because you're finally understanding that this is exactly what you wanted, exactly what your subconscious always knew would happen. You almost feel stupid for not realizing it sooner. 

You blink and return back to reality. Dave has moved from where he was sitting and has taken to pacing across the small room. Ready to tell him what you should've been able to long ago, you open your mouth to speak, but close it immediately when he turns to face you.

Before you can even register his extremely distraught expression, Dave holds up a hand to stop you from speaking. "Don't say anything, please, just give me a second," he begins, pain evident in his voice. "I don't know what came over me. But I do know that I'm sorry, John. I'm so sorry, and I totally understand if you don't want to be friends anymore."

He waits expectantly for your response, looking almost scared. Why he would be scared of what you have to say, you're not quite sure. "Sorry? Why are you sorry?"

"Why am I sorry?" What seems to be anger flares behind his words. Not anger at you, anger at himself. "Because I just kissed you, John! Because I'm your best bro, and bros don't do that! Because I just ruined our friendship!" He sighs, and the anger is replaced by remorse. "I didn't mean to put you in a position like this, Egbert. I know you're 'not a homosexual,' blah blah blah, and I don't expect you to be, so I shouldn't have done that."

You pick your words carefully before answering. "Maybe I'm not a homosexual," you say, "but I guess I could be... Stridersexual?"

Now Dave is the confused one. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean..." you struggle to find words to convey your emotions. "I mean that I never thought I liked guys, and I still don't think I do- I only like one." You close your eyes so you don't have to see Dave's reaction. "What I mean is, I really didn't mind when you kissed me, and I wouldn't mind if you did it again."

You open your eyes cautiously, and see a rare sight. Dave, the coolest kid in cooltown, has no idea what to say. After opening and closing his mouth several times, like a platinum-blonde fish, he finally settles on an appropriate response. "Really?"

You smile at his reference to what you know is his favorite movie: Shrek. With a sort of giddiness bubbling up inside you, you answer him appropriately. "Really really."

And that's when you find out that sometimes, second kisses are better than first ones.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Neither you nor Dave ever officially asked the other out, but you didn't need to. After your first kiss, everything just seemed to fall into place. 

Your friends took the announcement extremely well, though each in a different way. Rose rolled her eyes and let you know that she knew it was coming all along. Nepeta squealed and hugged you both. Sollux displayed utmost indifference, which was inly to be expected. Tavros offered a feeble smile and his congratulations. Even Karkat managed to grumble out, "it's about time," with barely any trace of rudeness.

The only problem was Vriska. Even though Dave said that it was obvious for ages, you'd never realized she had a crush on you. Now she couldn't be in the same room as you without sulking and glaring at Dave. But that could be overlooked. 

Neither of you are quite sure how, but somehow, within the first week of your relationship, Dave's brother found out. He displayed his feelings on the matter by coming into Dave's room and setting off a confetti cannon while you and Dave were in a rather compromising position.

Your dad doesn't know, and neither does the general population of your school. As much as Dave doesn't seem to mind what people think, you do, so he's agreed to keep it on the down-low for now. 

The rest of January passed wonderfully. Well, the week of it that was left, anyway. February started out even greater, but with Valentine's day fast approaching, you began to worry about what to do for Dave. A week before the big day, you try pestering Rose for ideas. 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 22:39 --  
EB: roooossseee  
EB: i need your help  
TT: To what do I owe this pleasure, John?  
EB: should i do something for dave for valentines day???  
EB: i mean, we havent even been dating a month!  
EB: but it feels like its been way longer than that, you know?  
EB: and hes probably gonna do something for me and i dont want to look like an awful boyfriend!!!!  
TT: In my opinion, Valentine's Day is an unnecessary holiday.   
TT: Why do we need a special day in which to do something special for our significant others? Shouldn't we express our love for them every day?  
TT: Valentine's Day is over-romanticized by the media, and is truly just a time when businesses and cooperations can make more money by publicizing their products as perfect Valentine's gifts and decor.   
EB: blaarrrrgghhh, youre no help! ill ask jade. >:(  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 23:02  
\--

Frustrated with Rose, you close your chat with her and open a new one with Jade. 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 23:02 --  
EB: jade!  
EB: can you help me out??  
GG: sure! how can i help you?  
EB: i need your opinion on something

You repeat the story to Jade, and anxiously await her response for what feels like 10, but is actually just 2, minutes. 

GG: if it feels right to you, go for it!  
GG: but if you cant think of anything, dont worry about it! im sure dave wont care  
EB: what do you mean?  
GG: *sighhh*  
GG: i mean, do whatever your gut is telling you to do!   
GG: if your gut wants you to give dave something for valentines day, do it! and if it doesnt, then dont!  
EB: right now the only thing my gut wants to do is throw up :/  
GG: hehe! :B well, im sure youll figure out what to do! goodnight, john!  
\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 23:15 --

You close your laptop with a sigh. Neither of your best friends were any help. If anything, they just left you even more confused than before. 

Luckily, you didn't need to worry about that, since as soon as you drifted off to sleep that night, the solution to your problem came to you. And what a wonderful solution it was.

Now your only problem is waiting another week for what you're sure will be the best day of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is! The chapter that has been so widely anticipated!
> 
> I might've messed it up a lot, I don't know, you'll have to tell me. Do not spare my feelings, I would rather know a harsh truth than a sweet lie. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented and voted on the last chapter, please continue to do so! I value your feedback more than I do air, which is almost as much as I do hyperbole (sigh, literary humor).
> 
> Well, I guess that's it! The next chapter will probably take about 2-3 weeks because I'm going on vacation next week. If you have any questions about the date of the next update, message me or comment! Actually, do that anyway. Your opinions are sosososo important to this story. 
> 
> Thanks again!!
> 
> ~M


	6. Chapter 6

You are now Dave Strider. 

From the moment your phone's alarm goes of at 6:30 A.M. on Friday, February 14th, you know that this day will be unlike any other. Why? You're not quite sure. All that you are sure about is that you can't wait to get into your car and see John. 

Your inexplicable joy is so massive that you actually arrive at John's house 5 minutes early, something you'd never do while in your right mind, since John's hardly ever ready for you when you're on time. To your surprise, however, John bursts out of his front door just seconds after you honk your horn. He walks to your car with a certain spring in his step, and you're so glad to see him sharing your good mood that you don't even reprimand him for slamming Sam's door shut. 

He turns to smile at you as soon as he sits down. "Happy Valentine's Day!" he says, obviously proud of himself for remembering the holiday. 

You laugh and lean over to kiss him softly. "Happy Valentine's Day, Egbabe."

Usually John hates that nickname, but today he doesn't even comment. As you set off down the road, he asks about your plans for tonight. "My place, right?"

"Unless you'd prefer otherwise," you reply. 

"Nope, my place," he says. "But you get the pizza."

"No problem." Tonight won't be anything too extraordinary, just the two of you watching some movies and hanging out. Nevertheless, you can't wait for it to come. 

The rest of the ride is idle between the two of you, most of the conversation consisting of speculation about the school's atmosphere today. You both agree that Valentine's Day will bring public displays of affection around every corner, and the anticipation of the weekend will have every student bouncing in their seats. You're no exception to the latter trend, but not being able to so much as hold hands with John will probably make you even more anxious. 

You arrive at school much earlier than usual, so you park behind the school by the dumpsters, where your car sits alone among those belonging to the school janitors. It's not until 7:56 that you realize school starts in 4 minutes, and John is currently in your lap. John follows your gaze to the clock on your dashboard, and you both laugh in unison. You share one last kiss and then get out of the car together (after checking to make sure there's nobody around to see you). It isn't until you and John have parted ways and you're halfway through U.S. History that the reality of the situation hits you: you are stuck in this Hell hole with 6 hours you get to John's house. You sigh and sink into your seat, closing your eyes behind your glasses for a quick nap. 

The day seems to take 10 times longer than usual, all of your time in class with John robbed from you by your teachers. Lunch, where John (somewhat reluctantly) agrees to hold your hand under the table, is your only salvation. All of your friends are feeling the excitement of the day. Even Kanaya and Rose, despite all their talk against Valentine's Day, can't resist leaving lunch 10 minutes early to "go to the library." 

After far too many treacherous classes, you finally end your day right where it started: in your car with John. The promise of the approaching night raises your spirits at about 100 miles per hour. 

On the drive to John's house, you run your plans for tonight by him. "Does Ghostbusters sound good to you?" 

John raises his eyebrows at you suspiciously. "Are you gonna diss the movie the whole time?"

You have already prepared yourself for this. "Not at all." You know that John will probably like sharing these movies with you almost as much as he will his actual gift. As hard as it will be to keep your comments to yourself, you're sure you can handle it.

Once you get to John's house, you grab your backpack with everything you need for the night (sweatpants, John's present, extra snacks) and follow him through the door. You notice that John's dad's Mercedes isn't in the driveway. "No Dadbert tonight?" 

John shakes his head. "He's been on a business trip since Tuesday, he should be back in a few days."

You nod your head and go up to John's room as he heads for the kitchen. "Apple juice?" he calls up to you. 

"Grab the whole bottle," you respond. John usually leaves a 2-liter bottle of apple juice in his fridge for you, and you know now that taking it all upstairs will be easier than having to constantly go and refill your cup. 

When John arrives, you've already taken off your shoes and arranged the pillows on his bed to your liking. He puts the bottle of apple juice in your hand and tosses a bag of Doritos onto the bed. You smile. "Have I told you lately how awesome you are?"

You can hear the smile in John's voice as he goes to put Ghostbusters into the DVD player. "Only about 20 times a day."

"Then obviously not often enough." John laughs and kisses your cheek once he sits down next to you. After starting the movie, he nestles his head into your chest and pulls a blanket over both of you, what you realize is an obviously necessary precaution for him upon wrapping your arm over his shoulder and feeling his ice-cold hand. 

You don't speak to John during the movie; you know that he's happy just enjoying the comedic stylings of his hero, Bill Murray, with you beside him. The only sound you make is the crunching of Doritos, and the occasional chuckle upon glimpsing John's gleeful expression. 

By the time the credits start to roll, you and John are both starving. He sits up, takes his head off of your lap, and looks at you. "Pizza?"

You nod. "Pizza." 

It takes the pizza man about 45 minutes to finally get to you, but you and John don't mind. You spend the time in the kitchen, making each other laugh every second. 

Once you're settled again, this time with a circle of cheesy heaven in between you, John starts Ghostbusters II. You can endure the first movie enough, especially so if you have John with you, but even he can't ease the torture of its successor. Pizza keeps you sane for awhile, but you find yourself finishing your 3rd slice all too quickly. 

You lean backwards with a deep sigh. John clears the pizza box off the bed and follows suit, resting his head on your shoulder.

For the umpteenth time today, your shades provide salvation. Their tinted lenses allow you to close your eyes without notice, and before you know it, you're asleep. 

Luckily enough for you, you awaken before the movie ends. John has been so entranced by the film that he hasn't even noticed your nap. You watch the last 20 minutes of the movie, trying not to fall asleep as you do so, and are greatly rewarded by a huge smile from John after he turns the T.V. off.

John turns to face you and wraps his arms around your neck, holding you tightly. "Thank you," he breathes, "that was the best present I've ever gotten."

Despite the fact that, according to John, you've given him the "best present ever" at least 10 times before, you accept his thanks with a kiss on the forehead. "You're welcome," you say, "but that's not your present."

John pulls back to look at you, his blue eyes wide and eager. "Really?"

"Really really." You smile and reach into your backpack on the floor to pull out a red box. You hand the box to John with a grin. "Happy Valentine's Day."

John wastes no time in opening up the box. As soon as he does, his face immediately lights up with awe. "Is this-"

"Yup."

John holds up the raggedy bunny gingerly. "And it's-"

"The exact same bunny that Nic Cage protected so reverently in Con Air? Yeah."

John's mouth forms a little O, and he remains awestruck for a few moments, treating the bunny like a winning lottery ticket. When he finally comes back to his senses, he once again flings his arms around you, this time kissing you with a passion that only shitty-movie memorabilia can create.

You kiss him back until he's done. When he finally releases your lips, he's breathless with joy. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

You raise your eyebrows. John's never said that he loves you, and neither have you. John realizes this immediately after he finishes his question, and his expression of happiness is instantly replaced with one of shock. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say that."

"So you didn't mean it?"

"No, wait, that's not what I said, I mean," John takes a deep breath before speaking again. When he does, he speaks so fast that it's almost hard for you to catch his words. "I mean I probably shouldn't love you because we haven't even been dating that long but I think that I do and I don't know why."

You nod in understanding. "It's almost like we've been dating forever, we just didn't know it, right?"

John sighs in relief once he hears that you understand. "Yes, exactly."

"So I guess it's alright for me to say that I love you too?"

John beams at you. "It's more than alright."

You know exactly how John feels about your relationship being more serious than it should at this point. Some might say the two of you were moving way too fast, considering you've been on all of 2 dates so far, but it just feels so natural to you and John. 

You share a few moments of comfortable silence before he snaps back to attention. "Oh, right! My present to you." He stands up and goes to his closet, taking from it a sky-blue gift bag. He sits back down next to you, the bag in tow. Suddenly he seems a lot more nervous, though a bit excited. He hands you the bag and eagerly watches as you pull away the tissue paper. Looking down at your gift, it doesn't take long for you to put the pieces together. You look at John in astonishment. This is definitely not what you expected from him. Before you can say anything, John hurriedly explains the present. "I mean, if you don't want to, that's totally fine, I mean, we are moving a little fast, but...." He flushes a deep red when you don't say anything. "It's just that, ever since we kissed I realized that I never wanted anything more than to be with you, and I don't think I'll ever want to be with anyone else. And I want to show you that, to give you all of me, and be with you in the biggest way I can." 

You look from the bottle of lube and package of condoms in the bag and back to John. "Do you really want to do this?"

To your surprise, John nods. "Do you?"

You laugh. "You know, Egbert, sometimes you ask the stupidest questions."

John laughs with you, suddenly a lot more at ease. And as you pull him close to you, you know that this night is the beginning of your forever with John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was lame. And cliche. So, very cliche. I'm deeply sorry about that.
> 
> I messed it up, I know, the dialogue was all wrong, I probably used too many of the same phrases, and I think mor adverbs than were necessary. Please don't hate me. 
> 
> I know where I'm going from here, I just have to get there. Expect about 3-4 more chapters, but I don't know when.
> 
> Once again, you guys never disappoint with your feedback and suggestions. Keep commenting, voting, and messaging me! And DON'T FORGET TO BE HONEST! I can't write without criticism!
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking around this far, honestly, you guys are the bomb. 
> 
> ~M


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